Are you an open book with your kids?

How well do you know your child? Who are their friends, do they have troubles at school, are they on social media and what do they have trouble dealing with?

There is so many new things happening with them every day, it is so hard to keep up some days. I don’t know how many times I have mispronounced the names of my daughter’s friends or mixed up which one did what! It can some days feel like I am living in the twilight zone. But needless to say, I continue to ask questions, and my daughter continues to be annoyed with me, and I often hear. Mom don’t be a Noob, don’t ask me what it means, but I can only assume it is some new age term for when we parents don’t understand. Apparently I am also a Noob for not knowing what Noob means.

They really need to create a dictionary filled with new age terms that have been created by our children. But… surprisingly enough, the word noob is in the dictionary, at least on google and means:
a person who is inexperienced in a particular sphere or activity, especially computing or the use of the Internet. Well there you go… she is smart and mouthy. Ha!

Image by Robin Higgins

I’ve noticed more and more bullying going on in school these days and I am shocked by how some students are treating each other. Kids are bullying each other on social media, in the schoolyard, by text messages, and through other kids.

There are days I feel like I am living in a drama soap opera. Why must they be so great to each other one day and horrible the next?

How do you deal with this? How can we be there for our kids?

Be proactive!

Get involved in their lives by asking them about their friends, their activities at school and more. Do this no matter how many times they tell you “I’m not talking about it”… or my favorite, “you have no idea”.

Let them know that you are there for them, and please be patient and don’t pull out that gorgeous hair on your head in the process with frustration. As much as we get frustrated helping them, they are just as frustrated going through it. It’s tough trying to fit in at school and there are so many pure pressures out there in the world today.

When I was growing up we didn’t have social media, cell phones, youtube and all the other hundreds of social media tools kids use today. The worse thing we dealt with was notes being passed around in class, yes we wrote on lined paper, that was our text messaging, prank phone calls, name-calling or the odd spitball.

We could escape the annoying ones once we were home, but not today with Email and the aforementioned.

Talk to your kids every day. I know life can become busy and overwhelming with work, after-school activities, sports and more, but it is really important for us as parents to communicate with our kids every day. Become Nancy Drew, or as most kids would recognize, Sherlock Holmes.

Try talking on the way to hockey, gymnastics or whatever activity they are into, at the dinner table, just before bed. Keep it light and relaxed. It doesn’t have to be a long drawn out conversation, although I have had many, 2 min before bedtime conversations turn into an hour. Bedtime seems to let the guard down, in our house sleepiness is like a forcefield going down.

Be open to talk when they come to you, they are usually more open about things when they come to you so put down that phone, dish towel, computer or whatever you may be doing and take the time to listen to them. Do it! Do it now!

What may seem silly and small to you, can be a huge deal to them, so don’t brush them off, listen and try to help them with guidance and respect.

Think about what you are going to say whenever possible before you respond to their questions and don’t make harsh and angry responses. Your kids are like sponges and they pay attention to how you speak to them and how you deal with different situations.

Listen to what they have to say.

Try not to take over the conversation when they are talking to you. Sometimes kids need to vent and want you to just listen to what they have to say. Keep your tone light and easy going.

If your child seems out of sorts and is acting in a way that is out of character for them, try and find out what is going on in their life. Often when a child acts out, it can be their way of expressing their discontent.

When we listen to our children, it strengthens our relationship with them. To this day, because my mom was so open with me, I go to her for advice or for someone who will just listen to me to this day. I owe her a trip to the spa, many trips actually, she is so patient with me.

My goal is that my kids always feel safe coming to me and know that I will always be there for them even when they are adults.

7 replies

  1. Noob? Lol. We had each other growing up, our best friends. 😊 My kids are pretty open with me, it’s so important that they know we’re here to listen. Car rides are the BEST, You hit the nail on the head there! Your kiddos are in great hands!

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  2. Well said Brenda!! I agree one hundred percent. We are the same here, vent to us with no judgement! Parents really need to learn how to listen. ❤️

    Like

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